..........................................:BETWEEN THE LINES

It’s a bustling Thursday evening holding on to a lot of wet promises and raindrops against a hot-aired, empty sunset. Menaka looks at her reflection in the life-size mirror sitting pretty on one wall of the lavish washrooms, on the same floor as the ‘Bike and Psych’ Pub of one of the premier multi-star hotels in Chennai. The reflection smiles back at its gorgeous mistress.

The red halter neck and the swishy purple skirt clinging to those curves and contours lend Menaka a classy, yet smoking-hot look. She runs her hands down the front of her skirt out of sheer habit, and her eyes lock on to the stunning antique ruby-red ring on her ring finger ................................................................

………………………………………………….Menaka wishes for the antique ruby-red ring to transform into a red-hot partner. Maybe tonight is the night. She smiles at her mock optimism. Menaka could be quite the Queen Bee of any group: her diva dynamism, infectious enthusiasm, maternal instincts, nightingale voice, razor-sharp wit and way with words, group-political prowess and intuitive maneuvers get her buzzing right to the centre of any hive. Hiding behind that impeccable grace and spider-web charm is a spoilt little kid; a little kid who peeps out from behind the vixen veneer, a little kid who loves to laugh and help people, a little kid who is a staunch believer in family, religion, traditions, dignity, duties and responsibilities and a little kid who hankers for real romance.

“In a city of self-proclaimed Kings, would I chance upon the shining blade of my Knight in romantic armor? Well, maybe ‘Bike and Psych’ would provide the answer,” She takes a deep breath, joins her group of friends outside the restroom, smiles and nods as she breezes past the friendly bouncers into the yellow-lit club.

She orders a Tequila Martini and her friends order pitchers of beer, a mixture of shots and cocktails. Vinod, a friend of hers sits at the adjacent table with another friend of his.

“Menaka, this place gets a hard-on when you’re here. You look gorgeous. Meet my friend Varun, the dancer extraordinaire.”

Vinod and Varun join Menaka’s table. Menaka radiates a blazing smile, hugs Vinod and shakes hands with Varun. “It’s a pleasure meeting you, and you must know, I have a thing for dancers (winks).” Varun wears a red party shirt, teamed with black trousers. Menaka smiles inwardly at the thought she tries to push down her fluttering heart, “He’s your red-hot partner, something tells me….”
Varun returns a suave smile and says, “Not really a trained dancer, but invisible dancing shoes have a thing for me when I see beautiful women like you and my feet itch to dance.”

Menaka and Varun move opposite to each other. Everything and everyone around them fades into colorful oblivion. Their glasses clink and they gulp down their drinks. The hunter eyes the prey; only, neither of them knows who really the hunter was and who, the prey.

The First Time I saw you
you were standing In the Rain
there was something about you
that made Me Look Again
the Way That You Let The Rain
fall Down On You
the Way That You Smile
when Your Eyes Met Mine
ooh,Ooh...”- Courtesy Wise Guys (The first time I saw you)

“Can I have this dance?” asks Varun.
Menaka blushes and replies, “Oh Yeah, Why not?”

Varun draws her into a merengue sequence. Menaka knew a little jive and had always taken well to a male lead in a couple dance. “But this is whopping different,” she muses, as he led her into Caribbean twists and twirls.

As if he heard her muse, Varun tells her, “This is quite simple. Just follow me.” He suddenly put his hands over her head, loops it down her upper back and waist, comes spine-chillingly close for a tingling second, and when she closes her eyes to savor the feeling, he twists her on his right feet, does a side basic and leaves her untouched, into a dizzying twiddle, only to touch, steady and coax her into the next forward basic movement.

“Lady, swing you hips along with mine. It lends a deep flavor to this dance.” Menaka blushes at the all the activity hip-down.
“A lot of things are swinging in your favor, least of all the flavor,” she quips in an unperturbed voice. Inside, she was quivering.

The lady in red is dancing with me
Cheek to cheek
There’s nobody here
Its just you and me
It’s where I want to be
But I hardly know this beauty by my side
Ill never forget the way you look tonight. .. -courtesy Chris De Burgh, Lady in Red.

They settle into a romantic trance. The hunter had lost. The prey had won.
Only, here there was no hunter but two prey going in circles around each other. Only time would reveal the outcome of this chase.
....................................******************************....................................
BETWEEN THE LINES
She runs her hands down the front of her skirt out of sheer habit, and her eyes lock on to the stunning antique ruby-red ring on her ring finger ........................……………………………………..
It replaces her more expensive, but boring diamond-wedding ring. To her advantage, age is her beauty’s most unwanted alibi: ‘Forty something and sexy’ is quite rare in her part of the world. Her marriage had spoken only two exquisitely beautiful words to her all through its life- her two beautiful children. Those two beautiful words alone had coerced her into forming her marriage into a decent life-sentence. Now, those two words had also flown away and become birds with their own nests leaving Menaka all alone in her empty nest......................................
Menaka wishes for the antique ruby-red ring to transform into a red-hot partner. Maybe tonight is the night.

If ever marriage becomes an unsatisfied hunter, and the hunter becomes his own inescapable prey, there’s nothing wrong in burying the gun, taking up the gauntlet and shooting other arrows. Age is never a barrier for breaking free and seeking true companionship.
My dream is to fly
Over the rainbow so high
My dream is to fly
Over the rainbow so high..-- Courtesy Yves Larock - Rise Up

THE BIRTHDAY-BABY SHOWER :)

YEAH! MY BIRTHDAY was up last week. I just want this post to be a dedication to all the people who ROCK my day-to-day life. I also want to thank all of you, for having surprised me TWICE and having celebrated my birthday THREE days in a row. I want to let the world know that I LOVE ALLLL OF YOU soooooo much. MWUAHHHHH & HUGSSSSSSSS.. :)

My parents have brought me here and made me all that I'm.

This year, they treated all my closest friends at L4 on my behalf.(Cit Centre's Rooftop)Thank you MA, PA, PATI N JEFF.- You're the best family on the planet. Mwuaaaaaah :)

THE SEXCEE SIX:

The six people who have been a big part of my life for the past two years..You guys mean the world to ME: absofuckulutingly the besttttt..

DOLLY, HARSH, PEETO, PRATHI, RUBY, TEDDY..

You surprised me twice on my budday, and I was on top of the world..

This is what the sexcee six gave me, in addition to the Surprise Black Forest Cake at the airport and the buffet/cake at Sigree.

& I WEAR THE BAG LIKE EVERYDAY: :):):) thankyaaaaaaa.. (though you can't see the bag)



RAJIV AND SIKKI:
Two guys who have been with me through thick and thin. They've beem friends all their lives and I know them for six years now.
You guys have been there when I need a shoulder the most! Thank-You! mwuahh :)This is what Rajiv and Sikki gave me:
(in addition to the shooters Rajiv paid for, at my Airport surprise.. It was supposed to be my treat to all of them, but my card didn't work ;);) Rajiv, 'M inDEBTed to to you.. ;))
Rajiv, Thanks for giving yourself to me on my Birthday ;);) (urggg, how I hate to admit this is what you call me: yaana kutty(translation :elepahant baby!)
Sooooo darnnnn googly-woogly cute



RAM & KRIS:
Two of my beshttt buds: the two macho men in my life..
I love their sense of humor:they are such tube-lights that this is what they decided to get me on my budday: a glow-in-the-dark lamp.. :)
I love the way the small, silver- square confetti moves inside the lamp, it's like how you guys are to me, always in my blood.. (sounded corny eh?)



MINSI AND JOE:
Minsi-->Another mother to me. Love you to insy-winsi-minsi bitz :):)

Joe--> Great buddy and companion.

Ofcourse, this used to be a huge gang back in college: those were definitely 'the best years of my life': Aditya, Dhanya, Charlee, Yogi, Rajiv, Sikki, Trisha, Kishore, Senthil.....-mwuaah to you guys wherever you are.

Minsi gave me a mix-n-match Pattiala/dupatta and two stone-neck pieces, which I oh-so loved:




Pepsi and Alex:
Pepsi (aka Hepsiba) is a cute little cherub, who looks a lot like me. (just that she is the petite version): a new friend of mine, a hip-hop buddy, a bubble-pot and a doctor-to-be..
She gave me a Lifestyle voucher, with which I bought myself this Kurta:
Sweetheart, you’re going to be a great Doc: keep the smile and love you tons.

Alex--> Pepsi’s older brother, who studies with my younger brother Jeff.
Alex gave Jeff a cross, when he met my brother at my Birthday treat, as a keepsake after his trip to Dubai: I just like to think Jesus found a way to my special day. So I thought I’d put in this pic.

God bless yall.. Hope and Pray I’d celebrate many more Buddayz with all of you around!
And Blogger Buddies and Homiez, thanks a ton for all your wishes.
Love you all: mwuahhhh & Hugs.

ps: will post pics soon :)

.......................Apam and fish:

“The Biblical Feeding of the Multitude:
The disciples were only able to find 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Jesus blessed the food, broke it, and gave it to the disciples, who distributed it to the people present - 5000 not counting women and children - all of them being fed.”

It was eight in the evening. A shrill voice piped up in the busy, noisy street: “Apam faar
Rs. 5. Big Fat Feesh faar Rs. 30.” There were too many foreigners in the place, to visit their Lady of Velankanni, the Mother of Jesus Christ, so the meager Tamil-drenched English helped. The Shrine of Velankanni stood very close to the beach, and millions thronged here to pray to the Mother of Jesus.

The 35 year-old Chellama (aka the Apam and fish lady) sat swathed in a rugged blue and brown stone-washed sari. She looked 50 though; the heat and soot from the four hot stoves right in front of her had inflicted that change. A little girl of around five sat next to her. Her hair was plaited in two and she went about helping her mother serve the Apam and fish in big banana leaves. Mother and daughter had that haggard appearance, but what contrasted their rags and no-pitch ragas that they croaked aloud while making their Apams were the cheer in their voice and the twinkle in their eyes. They were here for making two ends meet and paying the little girl’s school fees- and the ‘Lady of Velankani’ had blessed them abundantly. She was not only their Goddess, but their mother and Protector.
A Phirang lady walked towards the roadside stall in amusement. She wore a pair of khaki shorts teamed with a pink, tank top. A black backpack hugged her sun-tanned back and pink sneakers cushioned her pedicured feet from the sand and stones below. Her blond pony struggled to stay still- the sea-breeze split it in manifold stands and the wayward strands streaked her cute, cherub face.

“I want two Aapems and one big fat fish please (smiles),” said the Phirang woman.
Chellama smiled back at the lady and said, “Welcome Madam. You looking veereey bootifool. Two minutes- haat Apam and big feesh”

After two minutes, her daughter, Arokia Mary flipped two hot Apams and one big fish onto a fresh, green banana leaf and handed it over to the fairy-lady. “One day, I’ll be like you fairy-lady, they tell me stories about fairies like you at school,” Arokia Mary thought with a solemn resolution on her face.

Post-Tsunami, the number of pilgrims thronged in larger numbers at Velankanni. People, after a long day of prayer and adoration entered the busy street that led them from the main shrine of Velankani to the Beach. Chellama’s Apam and fish stall stood at the entrance alongside umpteen other similar stalls, enticing the hungry pilgrims with their steamy stoves and the delicious whiff of red-hot-curry-masala-slotted fish.

A horde of strange trinkets, colorful confetti and unimaginable paraphernalia in the string of small shops brought the place to life. A number of hair-tonsure shops welcomed people who wanted to sacrifice their hair for their beloved Mother of Velankani. When one reached the sea, there was more fried fish, varutha kadalai (fried peanuts) and a lot of horses with people riding their backs.

Sharp at midnight, Chellama and Arokia Mary wrapped up their stall, collected all their earnings and put the notes and coins it into a purple cloth-pouch that rested in Chellama’s bosom.

“1000 Rs. Arokia, after a very long time.”

Chellama hugged Arokia Mary tight and they walked back to their hut with the left-over Apam batter and marinated fish. They reached their sparse, but sufficient one-room house that had been recently built and painted in bright green along with the hundred other similar houses in the same row from the Tsunami Aid. The green paint on the walls seemed a little brighter today. Chellama took the money from the purple pouch, laid it in a bronze box and hid the box in between her saris in the shelf carved in the inner walls. She usually kept the money on her body, but decided against it today.

The small wooden clock kept ticking. The silence of the night formed a think blanket over the sleeping mother and daughter.

“Click. Click.” The wooden door creaked open, the lock having been picked. A dark figure broke into the house. He adjusted his eyes to the dark and spotted a woman and a child sleeping in sound contentment. He smirked and walked to the only furnished part of the house: the shelf. He carefully rummaged through the clothes. He found the bronze box and opened it greedily. He picked all the notes save for the sole 2 hundred rupee notes and replaced the box. He quickly walked out of the house, into the breezy night. He wasn’t smiling.

Chellama woke up in the morning, stretched a little and woke up Arokia Mary. After getting Mary dressed in her blue and white uniform, she went over to the Bronze box to collect the 200 rupee annual school fee.

The money was missing. Only two hundred rupee notes flapped in the box, as if offering an apology.

Chellama smiled!

“He’d left the two hundred rupees. He really loved his daughter. Instead of beating her black and blue and taking all the money she usually had had on her bosom, he had silently taken away all but his daughter’s school fees without a fuss. She had trusted him with the bronze box in the shelf and he had reciprocated that trust in the way he knew best. Even her fisherman- husband had a heart, and she knew ‘The Mother of Velankanni’ had begun answering her prayers.”

“Very soon, he’d stop stealing the money altogether, cease beating her for good, quit alcohol forever and love her for a lifetime.”

Faith moveth mighty mountains. Trust never rusts. Love is always a boomerang, however late the strike-back.

p.s:

1.this is my tribut eto my Velankanni trip.

2.My birthday falls tomorrow, and I'm not here with family/friends- sudden, unavoidable training in B'lore :(:(

3. L0ve you all. Will be back soon.

..........................STUCK-ON-YOU!

RECAP:
The story so far (No previous episodes are co-related- this is a background check for your fancy)
Episode 1:
Stoned- The 3 MuskaJeers steal stones in place of diamonds, in the worst robbery ever!
The Characters:
The 3 MuskeJeers had nicknames for each other that swiped their personae sharp and clean:

*BEER*:He is passionate about BEER, bombshells, their b@@&$ and b*##$, big bucks, and all the good things in life- he leers lustily at whatever appeals to his senses.
*SEER*:He is the guy with unusual powers of foresight; he PREDICTS THE FUTURE with great accuracy, hence- the SEER- the MuskeJeers strategist, he plans like every tomorrow was running today. ‘Fear’ pushes and powers him.
*QUEER*:Strange are his ways: he’s ‘GAY and funny’- QUEER man! Like his penchant for mens’ rumps and rear-sides, he looks at every situation from the back and every possible corner and angle. He is quick and feminine, like a Deer

The Present:
Now, Beer, Seer and Queer have a MASTER.
This master is their penultimate boss. He is the Kingpin of ‘STUCK-ON-YOU’, an unidentified island on Earth. The Master is a Magician with powers unknown, even to the MuskaJeers. They have never seen their master. He is JUST A VOICE that calls on them, only when they are alone in ‘MUSKA-JUSKA’, the MuskaJeer’s house.

The Master’s belligerent voice bellows, “Beer, Seer and Queer: You have disappointed me with the diamond robbery. Youuuuu three stone-heads: you got me 3 stones instead of diamonds!”

Beer, Seer and Queer have no words and hang their head in shame.

The master feels sad looking at them. They looked truly sorry. Maybe, he had been a tad too harsh. “Alrigggggght, I only called you stone-heads, you don’t have to turn to stone for that reason, and turn away from me. I want you to be happy.”

The 3 Muskajeers look up with puppy-faces that prompt more pity in the Master’s heart than anger. “I know that look. I know you guys need that fantastic sexual break from reality.”

Queer lookS like an excited VODAFONE PUG on the run, “Master, You’re always more than ‘READY TO HELP’. Please Help.”

The master wraps the three MuskeJeers in his warm, invisible embrace. “Alright, MuskeJeers! It’s time for your Sex Vacation to my island, while I travel the world over the weekend. Now, here are the rules:

Rule 1:
I partition my island ‘Stuck-on-you’ into three parts, one each for the three of you. The three parts of the island shall be named after you: ‘Beira’, ‘Seirra’ and ‘Querida’. You shall not meet each other over the weekend.
Rule 2:
Here’s a ‘Muska-Juska Magic lamp’ for each of you. You can rub it once during your 2-day stay- make one wish and it shall be granted. Your wishes must be sexually mild-blowing fantasies.
Rule 3:
When you leave the island, you don’t take anything from there. Remember, they belong to me and me alone. Anything that you take, it become yours at your own risk.
Rule 4:
Close your eyes. You’ll be in and out in two days.

VACATION TIME:
The 3 Muskajeers stand with their eyes wide open, on their respective partition on the most Paradisiacal Island on earth: ‘Stuck-on-you’. A golden lamp with ‘Muska-Juska’ written across stays comfortably put in their arms.
The salty sea breeze is soothing. The night is naughty and nubile. The island’s bountiful beauty is bombastic. Sex sizzles in the air and on their minds.

On the Beira: (Beer’s third of the island)
Beer rubs the ‘Muska-Juska’ Magic lamp and wishes: “Master, Grant me the most boobalicious, buttalicious, curvalicious, sexalicious, lovealicious sex-kitten over the next two days.”

Master: “Sex-kitten? Think big- here’s a sex-tigress.”

She walks to him: a bedazzling ensemble of flesh and soul, dressed in nothing but a star-studded string bikini, midnight-blue Kajal and a tender coconut in her hand. She cuckoos into Beer’s ears, “Come. Command. Conquer.”

On the Querida: (Queer’s third of the island)
Queer rubs the ‘Muska-Juska’ lamp and wishes: “Master, Grant me the perfect bait that would ensnare my gay fancies both from front and behind, if you know what I mean. A six-pack horn that would have a hole on the top and bend backwards and fit into my ass-h*$* is what I fancy.”

Master: “Shah-Rukh is the perfect bait that would hook you on, but he’s busy with Karan Johar now.
And Queer, you said ‘master, grant me the bait’-
I as MASTER hereby grant you the BAIT- ‘the MASTERBAIT/MASTURBATE’ HORN.’
The HORNy HORN hoots to Queer: “Blow me. Caress me. Insert me.”

On the Seirra: (Seer’s third of the island)
Seer rubs the ‘Muska-Juska’ lamp and wishes: “Master, grant me the perfect crystal-gazer that helps me watch the futuristic place with the maximum population explosion: I’d like to fix the lights-out action.”

Master: “Right now, the only place where population explosion is happening is not in India/China; it’s in the ‘Brangelina House’- so many babies- adopted and real. They’re even talking of a child care centre that would house many more babies- peephole porn granted to you Seer.”

Through the crystal-gazer, Seer watches the most beautiful couple in the world go at it in bed- population or not, it definitely is an explosion.
Brad and Angelina whisper to Seer, “Ooh! Aah! Ouch! WATCH!”

THE VACATION ENDS:
The weekend passes by. At the end of it, Seer, Beer and Queer choose to play with rule no. 3. Their master had said: ‘Anything that you take, it becomes yours at your own risk.” They want souvenirs from their sexy vacation on the ‘STUCK-ON-YOU’ island. Seer hides the star-studded string bikini in his shorts, Beer flicks the ‘masturbate horn’ in his very loose shorts and Queer slips the crystal-gazer in his shirt pocket. They get back to their respective rooms in the ‘MUSKA-JUSKA’ house by Sunday night, longingly look at their souvenirs from the ‘STUCK-ON-YOU’ island and fall fast asleep.

The next day,
Beer gets up, walks to the full-size bathroom mirror and shrieks:
The star-studded bikini has become a part of his skin, permanently!

Queer gets up, and feels a pain in the front and back:
The ‘Masturbate Horn’ is naturally sheathed onto his front and back hole, permanently!

Seer gets up, and feels his right eye quake and pound:
The ‘crystal gazer’ stays molded to his left eyelid, permanently!

The MASTER’s voice floats across the ‘MUSKA-JUSKA’ house:
“Rule 3: When you leave the island, you don’t take anything from there. Remember, they belong to me and me alone. Anything that you take, it becomes yours at your own risk.”
Pauses and continues….
“And it all became YOURS- literally!!!!"

............................FIRST DATE- Quite a HANDful...

Life is always quite a HANDful- sometimes your hands are sewing stitches without a break, and at others, the sand just seems to be slipping from your hands. Meet Ron & Mon, while they talk about Ron's first date.

HANDy tips from the above:

-->Women think too much, and men use it to their advantage.

-->Men are not the only ones who have sex on their minds all the time.

-->Men love to speak in double entendres, without giving a sigle hint- it's called the system of 'protected-sex-talk' , akin to 'protected sex'.

Even real dates are not as delicious and tasty as these dry fruits we all sooooo love. So, how was your first date guys???Fill in.. :)

P.S.:

Talking of fruits, my first date with the fruit I've been fida over since the first date is right below:

Aren't they lovely strawberries?

They aren' t lovely strawberries, cos they're lovely litchees!!!!

GO FRUITY!! Did you the different spellins of the fruit:

litchee lichi leechee lichee lychee litchi: and I thought English spellings were difficult!!!

AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS TEH DOCTOR AWAY.

A 'DATE' A DAY KEEPS THE 'GYNECS' BUSY AND GAY!

...........................ZEROing in!

All over India, it’s suddenly going from voluptuous to violin-string-skinny. Hottest bod of the season- is size ‘0’. I’m not here to criticize or congratulate the concept.

Fashion houses become mad-houses when they’ve got to fashion a fresh-fad for the latest trend.
Here is a retail house that tries to capitalize on the size ‘0’ phenomenon.
Click on pictures to enlarge:

So, what are you zeroing in on?

ps: And i wanted people to see the idiocy in size 0, hence the nanga concept!:)

STONED!!!

Prologue:
THE 3 MUSKEJEERS:
The 3 MuskeJeers had nicknames for each other that swiped their personae sharp and clean:

(Beer): He is passionate about BEER, bombshells, their b@@&$ and b*##$, big bucks, and all the good things in life- he leers lustily at whatever appeals to his senses.
(Seer): He is the guy with unusual powers of foresight; he PREDICTS THE FUTURE with great accuracy, hence- the SEER- the MuskeJeers strategist, he plans like every tomorrow was running today. ‘Fear’ pushes and powers him.
(Queer): Strange are his ways: he’s ‘GAY and funny’- QUEER man! Like his penchant for mens’ rumps and rear-sides, he looks at every situation from the back and every possible corner and angle. He is quick and feminine, like a Deer.

*************************************************************************************
THE HAUTE-HEIST:
(The High-Flying Robbery)

It is dark, silent and ten ‘o’ clock. The 3 MuskeJEERS stand at the Ravi Gaikward residence. Tonight is their night.

BEER jeers, “Crores and crores of ‘Darling Diamonds’. I’ve already begun spending it in my head. Diamonds are a hot chick’s best friend. Just imagine the blue-eyed, hot-assed…..”
QUEER cuts him abruptly, “Blue-eyed?? You might end up getting a black-eye, if we get caught today.”
SEER says, “Guys. Shut up. Let’s observe ‘two minutes of silence’ for the 3 months we’ve been planning and working hard on this ‘haute-heist’: to finally stroke the 3 sachets of sparkling Dazzle Diamonds in Ravi’s locker with sensuous slashes.”

3 MONTHS BEFORE:
3months. Three months since they started working on Ravi Gaikward’s case- Ravi Gaikward, the owner of a 100 year old Diamond Jewellery store Tribhov Bheem Gaikward (TBG), centrally located at the majestic Canberra House, Mumbai. He was a pink-faced, baggy-eyed, rotund man with lards of hard fat insulating the circumference of his stomach. His wife was dead, and he had one daughter named Riah, and a son named Rahul. Beer, the lady-lover that he was, worked his way to Riah’s heart, while Queer being gay ‘drove’ his way through gay Rahul’s arse. Seer became Ravi Gaikward’s most trusted astrologer during the two months.

And how?Simple! One afternoon, he visited the TBG Diamond store. After loafing around for a while, he gave the usher at the entrance a chit to be passed to the owner. The next day, when he returned to the store, Ravi Gaikward himself hugged Seer strong and made him his most trusted astrologer.

And how? Simple! The chit had read, “You will find a stone that will be bigger than the biggest diamond you’ve seen. The stone shall give you a new lease of life- this is your wife’s GIFT from heaven.”

Ravi Gaikward had waited for the big diamond, supposedly sent by his wife the entire day. No supplier had brought forth the foreshadowed diamond. Late that evening, as he walked out of his store, a huge stone had dropped from nowhere, just a foot behind him. He’d escaped death by a split-second.

Ravi removed the chit from his pocket and re-read it. The stone was bigger than the biggest diamond he’d seen (You will find a stone that will be bigger than the biggest diamond you’ve seen.), the big stone hadn’t killed him- it had given him a new lease of life (The stone shall give you a new lease of life), and it was his wife who had saved him from the stone- a new lease of life had been her gift to him (this is your wife’s GIFT from heaven!) Ravi Gaikward was stunned!

Queer sat hidden between the tree-branches near the TBG Diamond Store, smiling after throwing the stone a second after his target moved. He’d just missed his target by a second, as he’d been instructed to do; for a guy who missed his target, he was the happiest assassin.

TWO WEEKS BEFORE:
Two weeks ago, they struck gold, in this case, diamonds.
Seer now spent a lot of time at Ravi Gaikward’s house. As luck would have it, he eavesdropped on a conversation Ravi had with Rahul and Riah: “I’ve three sachets of my lucky-charm Dazzling Diamonds worth crores & crores, in my bedroom locker- one sachet for you, my son Rahul, one for you, my baby Riah and one for me.
Here are your keys to the locker. You can take these sachets anytime you want. Their individual value is much beyond your combined inheritances.”

BACK TO THE PRESENT:
That happened TWO WEEKS AGO. The 3 MuskeJeers come thumping back to reality. The 2 minute silence is over. The night is young, even the diamond-studded starry sky tells them, ‘Go get the 3 diamond sachets.’

The 3 MuskeJeers huddle once and part.
“Let’s go get rich today.”

And How? Simple!
Seer walks into his 10 ‘o’clock appointment with Ravi Gaikward. Rahul sees Seer go into his father’s room: he stealthily walks out of the house to meet Queer for an hour. They had fixed their love-making appointment for 10pm. “Rahul, you’re losing 21 crores because I’m gay and intelligent and you’re gay and dumb,” Queer thinks to himself.

Beer jumps into Riah’s balcony from the tree. She has been waiting for him for half an hour. It is their first time. “She looks so beautiful naked. God, I got to remember to drug her, and get her key to Ravi Gaikward’s Diamond locker.”

Aloud, Seer tells Ravi: “Close your eyes. ‘Eyelidistry’ is my secret specialty. Let me read your eyelids and predict your future.” Silently, he thinks, “We’re robbing Ravi Gaikward blind, quite literally.”

Half an hour passes. Beer steals his way into Ravi’s bedroom. His eyelids remain shut, Seer keeps babbling on about Ravi’s future. Beer moves forward. With no hindrance, he finds the locker, opens it with the key, picks the 3 sachets and walks away-hypnotized. It has been the easiest robbery in history.

10 minutes later, the 3 muskeJEERS meet at their hideout.
They open a sachet each. They stare at the contents open-mouthed! AGAPE!
They were STONED!

Each sachet contained a third of the big stone that Queer had thrown three months ago.

They went STONE-COLD!
*************************************************************************************
And how? Simple!
EPILOGUE:

Ravi Gaikward's words: “I’ve three sachets of my lucky-charm ‘Darling Diamonds’ worth crores & crores, in my bedroom locker- one sachet for you, my son Rahul, one for you, my baby Riah and one for me. Here are your keys to the locker. You can take these sachets anytime you want. Their individual value is much beyond your combined inheritances.”
-->Ravi Gaikward’s dead wife had saved his life with the stone. His wife was his Lucky Charm. To him, like Beer had predicted, this stone was the biggest diamond. Hence, he’d split the stone in three- one third for him, one third for his son Rahul and one third for his daughter, Riah. He called his wife ‘Darling’-so he called the 3 parts the ‘Darling Diamonds’. He’d intended for the stone to be a talisman of sorts to the children. To Ravi, the stone was priceless- he liked to put them at ‘crores and crores’. He wanted the kids to have their mother’s talisman any time, so he gave them the keys.

Ravi Gaikward had no other diamonds in the locker at home. He kept every other stone in his store, under the blanket of the highest security possible. After all, his family was in the diamond business for 100 years.