STONED!!!

Prologue:
THE 3 MUSKEJEERS:
The 3 MuskeJeers had nicknames for each other that swiped their personae sharp and clean:

(Beer): He is passionate about BEER, bombshells, their b@@&$ and b*##$, big bucks, and all the good things in life- he leers lustily at whatever appeals to his senses.
(Seer): He is the guy with unusual powers of foresight; he PREDICTS THE FUTURE with great accuracy, hence- the SEER- the MuskeJeers strategist, he plans like every tomorrow was running today. ‘Fear’ pushes and powers him.
(Queer): Strange are his ways: he’s ‘GAY and funny’- QUEER man! Like his penchant for mens’ rumps and rear-sides, he looks at every situation from the back and every possible corner and angle. He is quick and feminine, like a Deer.

*************************************************************************************
THE HAUTE-HEIST:
(The High-Flying Robbery)

It is dark, silent and ten ‘o’ clock. The 3 MuskeJEERS stand at the Ravi Gaikward residence. Tonight is their night.

BEER jeers, “Crores and crores of ‘Darling Diamonds’. I’ve already begun spending it in my head. Diamonds are a hot chick’s best friend. Just imagine the blue-eyed, hot-assed…..”
QUEER cuts him abruptly, “Blue-eyed?? You might end up getting a black-eye, if we get caught today.”
SEER says, “Guys. Shut up. Let’s observe ‘two minutes of silence’ for the 3 months we’ve been planning and working hard on this ‘haute-heist’: to finally stroke the 3 sachets of sparkling Dazzle Diamonds in Ravi’s locker with sensuous slashes.”

3 MONTHS BEFORE:
3months. Three months since they started working on Ravi Gaikward’s case- Ravi Gaikward, the owner of a 100 year old Diamond Jewellery store Tribhov Bheem Gaikward (TBG), centrally located at the majestic Canberra House, Mumbai. He was a pink-faced, baggy-eyed, rotund man with lards of hard fat insulating the circumference of his stomach. His wife was dead, and he had one daughter named Riah, and a son named Rahul. Beer, the lady-lover that he was, worked his way to Riah’s heart, while Queer being gay ‘drove’ his way through gay Rahul’s arse. Seer became Ravi Gaikward’s most trusted astrologer during the two months.

And how?Simple! One afternoon, he visited the TBG Diamond store. After loafing around for a while, he gave the usher at the entrance a chit to be passed to the owner. The next day, when he returned to the store, Ravi Gaikward himself hugged Seer strong and made him his most trusted astrologer.

And how? Simple! The chit had read, “You will find a stone that will be bigger than the biggest diamond you’ve seen. The stone shall give you a new lease of life- this is your wife’s GIFT from heaven.”

Ravi Gaikward had waited for the big diamond, supposedly sent by his wife the entire day. No supplier had brought forth the foreshadowed diamond. Late that evening, as he walked out of his store, a huge stone had dropped from nowhere, just a foot behind him. He’d escaped death by a split-second.

Ravi removed the chit from his pocket and re-read it. The stone was bigger than the biggest diamond he’d seen (You will find a stone that will be bigger than the biggest diamond you’ve seen.), the big stone hadn’t killed him- it had given him a new lease of life (The stone shall give you a new lease of life), and it was his wife who had saved him from the stone- a new lease of life had been her gift to him (this is your wife’s GIFT from heaven!) Ravi Gaikward was stunned!

Queer sat hidden between the tree-branches near the TBG Diamond Store, smiling after throwing the stone a second after his target moved. He’d just missed his target by a second, as he’d been instructed to do; for a guy who missed his target, he was the happiest assassin.

TWO WEEKS BEFORE:
Two weeks ago, they struck gold, in this case, diamonds.
Seer now spent a lot of time at Ravi Gaikward’s house. As luck would have it, he eavesdropped on a conversation Ravi had with Rahul and Riah: “I’ve three sachets of my lucky-charm Dazzling Diamonds worth crores & crores, in my bedroom locker- one sachet for you, my son Rahul, one for you, my baby Riah and one for me.
Here are your keys to the locker. You can take these sachets anytime you want. Their individual value is much beyond your combined inheritances.”

BACK TO THE PRESENT:
That happened TWO WEEKS AGO. The 3 MuskeJeers come thumping back to reality. The 2 minute silence is over. The night is young, even the diamond-studded starry sky tells them, ‘Go get the 3 diamond sachets.’

The 3 MuskeJeers huddle once and part.
“Let’s go get rich today.”

And How? Simple!
Seer walks into his 10 ‘o’clock appointment with Ravi Gaikward. Rahul sees Seer go into his father’s room: he stealthily walks out of the house to meet Queer for an hour. They had fixed their love-making appointment for 10pm. “Rahul, you’re losing 21 crores because I’m gay and intelligent and you’re gay and dumb,” Queer thinks to himself.

Beer jumps into Riah’s balcony from the tree. She has been waiting for him for half an hour. It is their first time. “She looks so beautiful naked. God, I got to remember to drug her, and get her key to Ravi Gaikward’s Diamond locker.”

Aloud, Seer tells Ravi: “Close your eyes. ‘Eyelidistry’ is my secret specialty. Let me read your eyelids and predict your future.” Silently, he thinks, “We’re robbing Ravi Gaikward blind, quite literally.”

Half an hour passes. Beer steals his way into Ravi’s bedroom. His eyelids remain shut, Seer keeps babbling on about Ravi’s future. Beer moves forward. With no hindrance, he finds the locker, opens it with the key, picks the 3 sachets and walks away-hypnotized. It has been the easiest robbery in history.

10 minutes later, the 3 muskeJEERS meet at their hideout.
They open a sachet each. They stare at the contents open-mouthed! AGAPE!
They were STONED!

Each sachet contained a third of the big stone that Queer had thrown three months ago.

They went STONE-COLD!
*************************************************************************************
And how? Simple!
EPILOGUE:

Ravi Gaikward's words: “I’ve three sachets of my lucky-charm ‘Darling Diamonds’ worth crores & crores, in my bedroom locker- one sachet for you, my son Rahul, one for you, my baby Riah and one for me. Here are your keys to the locker. You can take these sachets anytime you want. Their individual value is much beyond your combined inheritances.”
-->Ravi Gaikward’s dead wife had saved his life with the stone. His wife was his Lucky Charm. To him, like Beer had predicted, this stone was the biggest diamond. Hence, he’d split the stone in three- one third for him, one third for his son Rahul and one third for his daughter, Riah. He called his wife ‘Darling’-so he called the 3 parts the ‘Darling Diamonds’. He’d intended for the stone to be a talisman of sorts to the children. To Ravi, the stone was priceless- he liked to put them at ‘crores and crores’. He wanted the kids to have their mother’s talisman any time, so he gave them the keys.

Ravi Gaikward had no other diamonds in the locker at home. He kept every other stone in his store, under the blanket of the highest security possible. After all, his family was in the diamond business for 100 years.