PLAY IT LIKE PLAYBOY!

ROGER BUCK rolled from side to side, under the blue blanket on his sisal mat. He was dreaming of Jessica Doe, one of the doe-eyed beauties who had just moved into the condo opposite to his, just last week . He was so shy he never had the guts to talk to Jessica, but she wiggled her nose every time she caught Roger ogling at her.

“I think she likes you. When women wiggle their noses, they’re sending you those wiggly-jiggly love waves,” grunted Ronnie Buck.

His brother Ronnie Buck, was the stud-muffin- he had already started entertaining the women on the opposite side with his funny street bum antics, wacko hip-hop routines and cute, big bunny teeth.”Bunny teeth are my sex appeal, women fantasize my milk teeth in their soft flesh ” he’d hoot. ‘Life’, according to his older, dandier, crazier cousin Ronnie, ‘was to LIVE OUTSIDE THE CAGE, and play ‘The Playboy’’.

“I hear Brian, next door is going to have his Bachelor Party toNIGHT- and a little birdie told me ‘PLAYBOY’ is the theme,” rattled Ronnie Buck.


Playboy?!
Roger had always been the Mr. Goody Two shoes. All he did was keep Brendon and Belle, his parents happy, eat his food on time, chew on Apple-Gum, and kick his feet back, like he were reading the paper and secretly watch ‘Gossip Girl’, ‘Brothers and Sisters’ and ‘Desperate Housewives’, while his Aunt and Foster Mom, Amanda watched them in the hall, after a long and hard day at work. Yeah, he did Prison Break, Dexter, Heroes, CSI NY as well, but that was just when he had to prove his masculinity to the little brat Pete.


Tonight, Roger just could not sleep. The Loud Music from Brian’s Bachelor Party and teasing images of naked women called to his deep-down and stashed -in-the-basement PLAYBOY.


“Tonight, I ought to get out and have a ball .”


He was still BUCK NAKED under his blanket. He got up and walked to the Condo Latch. Surprisingly, it wasn’t shut. He pushed the front door, walked across the porch, jumped over the low-rise picket fences and scurried to the origin of all noise.


‘Here I come! I’ve finally ARRIVED! I got my Manly Whiskers-Hurrrrrrray!!’


And that’s how ROGER BUCK opened the front door to the noisy hall of his neighbour, Brian’s Bachelor Party with ‘PLAYBOY- Rock the Rabbit’ as its theme. Playboy Rabbit logos and Playboy models were glued all over the walls. Playboy Head Cushions pimped up the divans. A handmade Dartboard with Hugh Hefner(CEO and Founder of Playboy Enterprises ), surrounded by naked Playboy models sat on one wall- with Hugh’s Weeny as the Dartboard’s Bullseye. As Roger scanned the Bachelor Party Hall, plain ol’ Roger Buck said to himself, “Tonight, I’m going to be THE Rockstar PLAYBOY.”

Then, there was sudden silence. All the men in the room took their eyes off Ramoana, the stripper for the first time since she started stripping. They stared open-mouthed at BUCK NAKED Roger Buck. The hot woman, in her red  Rabbit ears and black silk garter stockings: only her Rabbit ears and black silk garter stockings, walked up to ROGER BUCK, with her golden whip falling out like Rapunzel’s single golden braid, right out from between her two rounded “ windows”, whose “knobs” right now were getting tighter with every passing second.

One man suddenly screamed out loud : ‘C’mon Ramoana, FUCK the frigging naked BUCK’. Roger never knew how they knew his Surname!

All the men joined in, ‘Buck, lose your virginity!’.

 Someone hooted, “Your name is ‘BUCK’- the ‘man’ and the ‘money’ rolled into one- Women find that combination very irresistable indeed. Give her a run for her BUCK, BUCK!”

Somewhere the Sony SA-W00 Sub-woofer blared ‘Freak n a Leash’ by ‘Korn’


“ Feeling like a freak on a leash. (You wanna see the light)


Feeling like I have no release. (So do I)…….”


The hooker walked to Roger Buck. He was in her arms in a jiffy.She put Roger in between her round ‘windows’. He licked at her ‘knobs’ and made them go hard. She rubbed noses with him. She stroked his pink-with-embarrassment ears. Then, she put her fingers in between his legs. He quivered. Her red fingernails made him squirm with anticipation. The men in the room broke into a sweaty palpitation. The party was creaching its climax with the unexpected, naked , stranger-visitor.


“Da boom na da mmm dum na ema

Da boom na da mmm dum na ema

Go!” Korn screamed on.


Roger closed his eyes and all he could think of, was............................................................. ‘Jessica Doe’!!! Suddenly, he squealed in fright, snapped out of her red fingernails, ran out of Brian’s front door and Bachelor Party, jumped over the picket fences, slid onto his garden, breezed past the front door, sprang into his Condo and skied onto his sisal mat.


From his window, he saw Jessica Doe sleeping with a smile in the opposite condo.


Tomorrow, he’d tell Jessica Doe HOW MUCH HE LOVED HER!


Being a FANCY-PANCY PLAYBOY RABBIT on the prowl was great- but ROGER BUCK had finally seen
BEYOND THE PLAYBOY. Much as he loved life outside the cage, he wore his heart on his sleeve- and it belonged to his home and hearth.
Playboys grow up to Men Rabbits of Honor.
Roger Buck had grown up into that Buck of Honour.


That was a story of Roger Buck, a Pet Male Rabbit, raised by Amanda and her son Pete, and his struggle in finding his true identity: to be or not to be the hyped ‘IT-Playboy-Rabbit’ . Interestingly, the men at the Bachelor’s party found the arrival of a male rabbit at a ‘Playboy theme’ Party the best coincidence of the night.


Amanda and Pete reared their male and female pet rabbits in multi-level Bunny Condos, and treated them with love and care. While a male rabbit is called a Buck (which is why the men at the Bachelor Party called him ‘Buck’), a female is called a Doe (which is why Jessica is Jessica Doe).The Playboy Rabbit was the ‘IT’ MALe of this rabbit community. To be or not to be the Playboy was the real question!