Thursday, September 18, 2008

ABC.. THE NEW APLHABET


Raoul walked into the projector room. It took his eyes a few minutes to adjust to the darkness.

‘Hey Sid, Does it hurt to keep the lights on?’ bawled Raoul in a mock, sing-song voice.

Silence.

The status light on the projector blinked green, as it remained in standby mode.

“I guess only my self-esteem got hurt- thank God no one saw me bellowing to an empty room. Damn You Sid!” Raoul murmured to himself in the same sing-song voice. He liked talking to himself- it gave him that extra pep on an otherwise mundane Monday.

He pressed the ON button on the Projector remote. It was a dual projection system- the two screens placed side by side suddenly brought the dark room back to life.

“And suddenly there was light…” he winked to himself with a sense of self-accomplishment.
Over the next thirty seconds, Raoul stood stupefied and tongue-tied. No words. No Sing-song gibberish.

Sheer Beauty always fit a silencer in his throat.

There were pictures of two women, side by side, on the two screens ahead of him.

The two women were as different and as alike as chalk and cheese could be. The one on the left was
Anne Mirabelle: she was in her late forties – a bewitching, ‘chipped’ chalk, drawing irresistible patterns on Raoul’s mind- canvas. The one on the right was Rubelle: she was a stunning 19 year old – as invigorating as fresh cheese straight out of its first curdle.

The 19 year old Rubelle wore a white summer dress and looked like a fresh breath of air ready to take on the stench of the big, bad world. Her jet black, stray hair looked like charcoal art on a beatific face, her eyes a thousand rays of the sun’s first rays. Her full breasts were ripe and ready to pick, Raoul thought her shirt buttons to be his worst enemy for the moment. Her angelic face gave her a baby-cherry-like, cherubic glow – now, Raoul would rip open his shirt buttons to cradle that face in a father-like, protective gesture.

“It’s getting hot in here. Let’s take off all our clothes,” whistled Raoul to a bunch of non-existent guys in the background, as though he needed to force his plane off this romantic runway.

He turned to the woman on the right.

Anne Mirabelle stood there in complete contrast, as though her forty something years towered in utter defiance of the younger woman at her side. Her breasts were flat, non-existent- which gave Raoul the ‘chipped’- chalk- first- impression, but her strong and sensuous heart in that sturdy frame lent her a prolific sexiness. She looked every inch like a queen of the Immortals- like she’d weathered the toughest storms, fought the worst battles and braved all the biting bitching, and still managed to emerge a fiercely loved and staunchly respected woman. Her ear-cropped, copper-brown hair stood gelled and styled and her eyes were an open assault on the senses.

“Wine and women, the older they get, the more they have in common” said Raoul with eyes in slits.

“You’re talking to the Dating hotline 143-280-143. Which of these two women are you going to date, Sir?” Sid broke into the room with a laugh.

‘Sid, where the hell have you been?’

‘Well, you need to choose one, not me. So, I buzzed off. So, who’s the lucky one?’

‘Both of them are irresistible in their own ways. But, if you ask me, I think we have a clear winner. I’ve always had my list of corroborative conditions and my instinctive preferences. So I think I’ll go for Anne Mirabelle.”

“I knew you’d go for Anne Mirabelle. She’s the perfect choice. I got to call and let her know.”

“No, I’ll let her know myself. I will be presenting the entire Publicity Campaign of her book, ‘ABC (A Breast Cancer)-THE ALPHABET OF A BOOBLESS WOMAN’ to her today. This sensational, gutsy photo of forty-eight old Anna Mirabelle will inspire and attract women and men of all generations; it represents, in all its strength and sensuality, the Iron-Maiden who LOST it all to breast cancer, but who still came out WINNING and LAUGHING all the way.”


ANNA MIRABELLE is the Editor in Chief of PARADE, an international Fashion Magazine. In her earlier days as a model, she was known by another name – RUBELLE. After many years, as a model, fashion journalist and editorial assistant, she progressed to become ANNA MIRABELLE, Editor-in-Chief of PARADE. Her battle with Breast Cancer in recent times, followed by double mastectomy (losing both her breasts) has given ANNA a new lease of life. She shares her life- with all its ups and downs, in twenty profound and rib-tickling chapters, in her first book – ‘ABC (A Breast Cancer)-THE ALPHABET OF A BOOBLESS WOMAN’. This book is said to be a sure shot best-seller, with its sober, frank and completely ribald take on women, men, boobs, sex, cancer and much more.
Raoul is hired as Anna Mirabelle’s book publicist, and he is to choose the picture of Anna Mirabelle that would appear in her publicity Campaign, which starts a,year before the actual publishing date. He chooses the Anna of today, as opposed to the Anna 29 years ago.( aka Rubelle )
p.s.:
This entire post, including the book, is a figment of my imagination.
Don't go hunting for the book.
:)

46 comments:

vishesh said...

i am stunned...you make feel that i have too many "bad" thoughts...well written,you got me off guard...

will read it,if i can find it :P and i finish the other million books on top of the list right now :P

--xh-- said...

wil try to hunt down the book... well written, and you never fail to spice up any post... as they says, spice is the essence of life :)
a toast to you... a large absolute on the rocks :)

rantravereflect/ jane said...

--vishesh-->

that's not a real book mr.g :)
this is a work of pure fiction!
:)
unless i write it some day :)

geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..
i'm glad i caught ya off-guard!

rantravereflect/ jane said...

--anoop/xh-->

heeeee, there is no book by that name :0
bwaaaaaaaahh..
it's just a book in my imaginative mind, for this story ;)

and thanks for the toast :):):):)

absolute on teh rocks-->
is my favvvvvvvvvvvvvvorite!

heeee, n yeahhh , ya want spice, ya get spice :)

Sriram said...

THERE IS NO BOOK? Whoa girl... then this post is a stunner!

Chriz said...

cool... you did it again girl... i wanna read that book.. and see her too..

Chriz said...

read that fiction book and see that fiction girl

Vinz aka Vinu said...

Girl...
Pure fiction..!! You made great.. those characters were actually living in front of me while i read..!!loved the piece..!!

on the funny side - ~~Her full breasts were ripe and ready to pick~~

ready to pick...that was spicy and funny..i had a good laugh..!!

once again loved your story..will visit this space often..!!

--xh-- said...

there u got me stumped :-D i thought it is a real story and book :-D make that vodka a straight double... :-D

and yeah spice - i know i know :)

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Girl!That was stunning.Such a great message put across in a very innovative way.Kudos to you!

*APPLAUSE*

Love ya Babes!Muaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Compassion Unlimitted said...

The P.S could have been avoided to make it more pun..
Nice post,you really took neat
TC
CU

lukkydivz said...

Few people have the courage to fight cancer, others just give up.

I loved it, so motivating :)
u r a prooooo ;)

Solitaire said...

You had me fooled. I thought it was a real book!

gunj said...

hats off to your imagination babes!!
if not fo d PS, i was definitely gonna go look fo d book!
bach gayeeeeee :P

you rock!!
muahhhh!

Me Mini Mini Mouse said...

man... well done as usual... AWESOME is not the word

Tabhi to...ths y i gave u the award.. now come soon n take it baybeah!!

ceedy said...

Good one there...now I lost ;)

Mabbe you can write the book

comfortably numb said...

simply brilliant...U had me hooked on to the book 4 sure...kudo s to ur imagination *deafening applause*

Chaggoholic.... said...

Hey real nice thought about concept story i mus say. Kp goin....

Scribblers Inc said...

exotic!! :D

scribblers Inc.

Trinaa said...

*shocked*...that was bloody brilliant!! :o :o :o

Salil said...

Hi,
Good piece.
Shirt buttons, the biggest enemy..I agree, have felt the same.
Cheers,
Salil

Cinderella. said...

Amazing !!

Babe, everytime you wrie you take the reader in a ride - a wonderful joyous ride, from where he'd ever wanna come back.

Its just so enchanting ! Love your way with stories. Kudos !!

muah dahlin !

brocasarea said...

omg!..really was mesmerized by the narration!....
liked ur frnakness in the post!...
have blogrolled u so will be coming again here!...:)

n i t i n said...

wtf was all that!!!


Okay, you got me..
I bow down to utter awesomeness you derived from thin air..

Resonator said...

Jane;
Amazing..Amazing..well written..Thank God, you mentioned it's ur imagination, else I would have gone to shop hunting for the book:)

happy blogging
Prema

Nandalal said...

nicely built. you ought to be another Arundathi. way to go!

Shrav said...

that's your imagination!! I really really am stunned, totally! Awesome work! ope you'll write a real book some day !

Keshi said...

I was abt to google for the book half-way thru...lol! WOW u write really well hun...FICTION queen!


**THE ALPHABET OF A BOOBLESS WOMAN’

lol @boobless..funny term Jane.


Jokes apart, I really admire women who r Cancer sufferers and are still able to hv a great sense of humor abt it all. Jane McGrath was one such lady who told BOOB jokes and she was truly an advocate of a HAPPY SPIRIT, no matter what.


I loved this post Jane!

Missed n missed ya, even tho I was away from blogs only for 3 days! :)


*HUGZ*

Keshi.

burf said...

i have always strongly liked the alliteration, good work

Veens said...

AWESOME WORK GIRL..
like many others... i would have gone hunting for the book :P

AMAZING!

i love the way you accessorize the whole scene, with so much of amazing visuality ...argghhhh i could see it and feel it... and that was amazing :)

RAMPRAKASH said...

very well written ...........

waiting for your real book someday........

HOBO said...

Imaginative but they say whatever we think is happening somewhere in the world...
Sad one.

Crystal.. said...

Wow.

I'm speechless,mate.

Loved it,as always.
but this time it had its own tint of spice.

*applauds*


Mwwaaaah

Cess said...

woow, I really thought it was a book and u made a story to introduce it, and i thought it was a brilliant.
It s cool that this book is not available which means that this woman does not have breast cancer, but if it was a real story this introduction would have been really great.

Cheers

C.

Keshi said...

So how is Jane babez today? :)

Keshi.

Trinaa said...

update update!!!

Tys on Ice said...

damn u woman!...somebody shud now write that book :)

lovely...now is always more beautiful

Impressionist said...

that was a splendid post lady!

-I

Beauty and the BEast said...

If that was a figment of your imagination... you have a very powerful imagination indeed and very moving one!!

This was a very brilliant twist of inhuman humanity and sympathy!!

Loved reading it!

sachin said...

nice blog.......

sachin
http://mobileflame.blogspot.com/

Crimson Feet said...

fuckin wonderful...

i am thoroughly impressed my friend!! :)

crasiezt said...

Babe that was brilliant!

And good you put that disclaimer in there:D

Pri said...

nicely written :)
if it wasent for the disclaimer in the end, i would have just believed it to be true....

Rahul S. Nair said...

hey that was really good...
Evrything added up in the end!!
Very good piece of writing.

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