Friday, June 6, 2008

..........................STUCK-ON-YOU!

RECAP:
The story so far (No previous episodes are co-related- this is a background check for your fancy)
Episode 1:
Stoned- The 3 MuskaJeers steal stones in place of diamonds, in the worst robbery ever!
The Characters:
The 3 MuskeJeers had nicknames for each other that swiped their personae sharp and clean:

*BEER*:
He is passionate about BEER, bombshells, their b@@&$ and b*##$, big bucks, and all the good things in life- he leers lustily at whatever appeals to his senses.
*SEER*:
He is the guy with unusual powers of foresight; he PREDICTS THE FUTURE with great accuracy, hence- the SEER- the MuskeJeers strategist, he plans like every tomorrow was running today. ‘Fear’ pushes and powers him.
*QUEER*:
Strange are his ways: he’s ‘GAY and funny’- QUEER man! Like his penchant for mens’ rumps and rear-sides, he looks at every situation from the back and every possible corner and angle. He is quick and feminine, like a Deer

The Present:
Now, Beer, Seer and Queer have a
MASTER.
This master is their penultimate boss. He is the Kingpin ofSTUCK-ON-YOU’, an unidentified island on Earth. The Master is a Magician with powers unknown, even to the MuskaJeers. They have never seen their master. He is JUST A VOICE that calls on them, only when they are alone in ‘MUSKA-JUSKA’, the MuskaJeer’s house.

The Master’s belligerent voice bellows, “Beer, Seer and Queer: You have disappointed me with the diamond robbery. Youuuuu three stone-heads: you got me 3 stones instead of diamonds!”

Beer, Seer and Queer have no words and hang their head in shame.

The master feels sad looking at them. They looked truly sorry. Maybe, he had been a tad too harsh. “Alrigggggght, I only called you stone-heads, you don’t have to turn to stone for that reason, and turn away from me. I want you to be happy.”

The 3 Muskajeers look up with puppy-faces that prompt more pity in the Master’s heart than anger. “I know that look. I know you guys need that fantastic sexual break from reality.”

Queer lookS like an excited VODAFONE PUG on the run, “Master, You’re always more than ‘READY TO HELP’. Please Help.”

The master wraps the three MuskeJeers in his warm, invisible embrace. “Alright, MuskeJeers! It’s time for
your Sex Vacation to my island, while I travel the world over the weekend. Now, here are the rules:

Rule 1:
I partition my island ‘Stuck-on-you’ into three parts, one each for the three of you. The three parts of the island shall be named after you: ‘Beira’, ‘Seirra’ and ‘Querida’. You shall not meet each other over the weekend.
Rule 2:
Here’s a ‘Muska-Juska Magic lamp’ for each of you. You can rub it once during your 2-day stay- make one wish and it shall be granted. Your wishes must be sexually mild-blowing fantasies.
Rule 3:
When you leave the island, you don’t take anything from there. Remember, they belong to me and me alone. Anything that you take, it become yours at your own risk.
Rule 4:
Close your eyes. You’ll be in and out in two days.

VACATION TIME:
The 3 Muskajeers stand with their eyes wide open, on their respective partition on the most Paradisiacal Island on earth: ‘Stuck-on-you’. A golden lamp with ‘Muska-Juska’ written across stays comfortably put in their arms.
The salty sea breeze is soothing. The night is naughty and nubile. The island’s bountiful beauty is bombastic. Sex sizzles in the air and on their minds.

On the Beira: (Beer’s third of the island)
Beer
rubs the ‘Muska-Juska’ Magic lamp and wishes: “Master, Grant me the most boobalicious, buttalicious, curvalicious, sexalicious, lovealicious sex-kitten over the next two days.”

Master: “Sex-kitten? Think big- here’s a sex-tigress.”

She walks to him: a bedazzling ensemble of flesh and soul, dressed in nothing but a star-studded string bikini, midnight-blue Kajal and a tender coconut in her hand. She cuckoos into Beer’s ears, “Come. Command. Conquer.”


On the Querida: (Queer’s third of the island)
Queer rubs the ‘Muska-Juska’ lamp and wishes: “Master, Grant me the perfect bait that would ensnare my gay fancies both from front and behind, if you know what I mean. A six-pack horn that would have a hole on the top and bend backwards and fit into my ass-h*$* is what I fancy.”

Master: “Shah-Rukh is the perfect bait that would hook you on, but he’s busy with Karan Johar now.
And Queer, you said ‘master, grant me the bait’-
I as MASTER hereby grant you the BAIT- ‘the MASTERBAIT/MASTURBATE’ HORN.’
The HORNy HORN hoots to Queer: “Blow me. Caress me. Insert me.”




On the Seirra: (Seer’s third of the island)
Seer rubs the ‘Muska-Juska’ lamp and wishes: “Master, grant me the perfect crystal-gazer that helps me watch the futuristic place with the maximum population explosion: I’d like to fix the lights-out action.”

Master: “Right now, the only place where population explosion is happening is not in India/China; it’s in the ‘Brangelina House’- so many babies- adopted and real. They’re even talking of a child care centre that would house many more babies- peephole porn granted to you Seer.”

Through the crystal-gazer, Seer watches the most beautiful couple in the world go at it in bed- population or not, it definitely is an explosion.
Brad and Angelina whisper to Seer, “Ooh! Aah! Ouch! WATCH!”



THE VACATION ENDS:
The weekend passes by. At the end of it, Seer, Beer and Queer choose to play with rule no. 3. Their master had said: ‘Anything that you take, it becomes yours at your own risk.” They want souvenirs from their sexy vacation on the ‘STUCK-ON-YOU’ island. Seer hides the star-studded string bikini in his shorts, Beer flicks the ‘masturbate horn’ in his very loose shorts and Queer slips the crystal-gazer in his shirt pocket. They get back to their respective rooms in the ‘MUSKA-JUSKA’ house by Sunday night, longingly look at their souvenirs from the ‘STUCK-ON-YOU’ island and fall fast asleep.

The next day,
Beer gets up, walks to the full-size bathroom mirror and shrieks:
The star-studded bikini has become a part of his skin, permanently!

Queer gets up, and feels a pain in the front and back:
The ‘Masturbate Horn’ is naturally sheathed onto his front and back hole, permanently!


Seer gets up, and feels his right eye quake and pound:
The ‘crystal gazer’ stays molded to his left eyelid, permanently!

The MASTER’s voice floats across the ‘MUSKA-JUSKA’ house:
“Rule 3: When you leave the island, you don’t take anything from there. Remember, they belong to me and me alone. Anything that you take, it becomes yours at your own risk.”
Pauses and continues….
“And it all became YOURS- literally!!!!"

57 comments:

black coffee said...

"ouch" for all three of em!!
rofl! seriously you are so much fun!!

some wild imagination!
the ouchest moment was for queer! poor 'thing'! :D

--xh-- said...

ROTFL.... :) man, seriously.. u hv got imagination... :) the master-bait horn... man.. what an imagination.. i belive itz an original idea... havnt seen anything like that anywhere...

vishesh said...

hmmm....hmmmm....a mistake in seer's thing you had written queer watches...:D

maverick said...

imagination at its almost best i believe...start a novel and give jeffrey archer a run for his money :)

Ria said...

U seriously write well gurl!! :D where do u get these ideas!? Really creative i mus say. :)

rantravereflect said...

black coffee-->
yehhh ouchest moment for queer, very painfulll, a s i was writing it, i cringed!

xh-->
yehhh it somehow cropped up in my mind- i'm perverted!! ;)n i loved teh master-bait mysefl.. was giggling all the way!

vishesh-->
sorrected teh mistake..

maverick-->
thanks man, jeff archer would show me his ass ;)n well,i'll make a quipoutta it.. geeeee.. n the novel is on its way :p

ria-->
thanks a ton!! was just thinking of marooned on aisland, n struck an idea with that!!

Sachin said...

MUSKA-JUSKA, STUCK-ON-YOU, ......... gosh where ??? cool stuff........hehehehe

Tyro said...

anything after such a holiday , :).

Beauty and the BEast said...

you really rock with your imagination..!!

Hillarious!!

Macadamia The Nut said...

OMG!! OMG!!
My imagination was taking me to places left untold :D What a twist to the magic lamp and genie jokes
Me likey so berry much!!!!!

vishesh said...

hi jane take a look at this-http://youthunite.wordpress.com :) u game for joining us?

Keshi said...

ROFL!

Insert me? LOLLLLL!

Keshi.

Nitu said...

Rofl....:)
You should patent the masterbait (aka masturbate) horn..ha ha

Sutta said...

Fuck, I can't believe I read the entire post. Coz, I never read long ones. But I'm more than glad I did it. That was undoubtedly one of the best hilarious fiction I've ever read! I SWEAR!!

BIG round of applause, for the kickass imaginations. Its fuckin rare that I appreciate things, and to say the least I loved this one. Really!

Bravo girl!!
:)

Gonecase said...

Good one, once again......the ending was ewww, ouch....poor fellows :P
And you write really well....
You are the first girl who agrees to Shahrukh-Karan episode ;)

maverick said...

hmmm...have u seen a movie called Quills??? u should see it..if u havent... :)

Emaan said...

credit for that poem goes to daddy.
u can check out his blog at:
sniper69.blogspot.com

Nirmal said...

hey gal will bead it in a day or two...now quite busy..

Preeti said...

Oooh...sounds painful :) tatz all i cn come up with rite now :)

Rite now all that is stuck on me is fat which i need to shed...and it's stuck on my mind all the time as well :)

Crimson Feet said...

i don't know. i mean it was vivid. ur imagination is awesome as usual. the masterbait horn was a master"stroke" ;).

but i found the ending predictable. i wanted it different. forget it. i am being greedy :)... fantastic stuff!

The Techno Maniac said...

thats bad... just shows greed and deriliction of a direct order..

so its gona be a continuity series??

Priya said...

So funny loved it:)

gunj said...

lol lol lol!!
poor guys!
how i wish they had brains!!

Prathi:-) said...

welll... a nice story.... but i was a wee bit shocked to read it;) u knw why:D
btw... i like the moral ur trying to bring out in the story;) had it not been for its "few" sexually explicit content i wud probably go arnd telling this story to my kid cousins;)
nice bold blog di:) way to go;)

Keshi said...

**I as MASTER hereby grant you the BAIT- ‘the MASTERBAIT/MASTURBATE’ HORN.’

hahaha thats sooo funny!

Keshi.

burf said...

i use firefox, still the text on your blog is unreadable. is it intentionally so?

rantravereflect said...

Sachin-->
i liked teh muska--juska :)heee sounded cute, so ;)

tyro-->
yehhhh, aftr sucha holiday, i guess they're ok with the setbacks ;)

beauty n the beast-->
thanks!!!

mac the nut-->
thank ya berry berry mush :)
so wat are teh untold places??') i think i'd like 2 knw :)

vishesh-->
sure thing man!

keshi-->
lol :):) tatz teh only thing that caught ya attention? ;);)

rantravereflect said...

nitu-->
yehhhh babeee, patented!! :) it oughtta be-- no1 is entitled to think as pervy as me ;)

sutta-->
i'm fuknnnnn happee tat ya read teh whole thing n liked it as well :)yippppppppeeeeeeeeeeeee..
meee sooo darn happppy.. yaayayyyyyy :)

gonecase-->
thankss man! n heyyyy, i actually like shah-rukh:) sooo tat was only in the spirit of writing..;)


maverick-->
have heard of it.. some oscar nominations ryte????will check it out 4 sure-ne corelations to this post??

emaan-->
sure thing buddy.. i will :)

nirmal-->
busy body :) sure thing man!!

preeti-->
hee fat s aways on me too, but yehhh, i try not to think abt it ;)
it's painful :)

crimson feet-->
keep being greedy,. guess tats what pushes the creativity envelope;)

technomaniac-->
heee,, it wun be a continuity as far as teh story line goes, but yehhhh the same characters could be used again!

priya-->
if i gave ya a good laugh. then my job's done :)

gunj-->
yehh, wen it comes to men n sex, they become brainless ;)

prathi-->
ya could alter the sexual fantasies to food fantasies n give them to ya cousins ;)i mean like a dougnut stuck to their butt, whipped cream whooped onto their hair and a red cherry stuck onto the nose ;)


keshi-->
yehhh, the masturbate horn-- though for quite some time to come up with it

rantravereflect said...

keshi-->
n i'm gladddd ya found ot funny keshigirl!

burf-->
my text unreadable?? :"(
are ya waiting for teh page to lad, cos when it ultimately does teh text is black font on a very light grey,almost white page:(

♥bμşγ-ŵŗϊŧēŕ♥ said...

OMG!! You're a riot!! This was SO funny. Your illustration of the horn thingy was hilarious. Lol. I could like imagine it.. erm, nevermind. Lol.

imaginative and creatively original. :)

cheeeers!

Akshay said...

Thats some creativity at work.... I feel sorry for all three of them....but its funny indeed....

Crimson Feet said...

did you get my joke or not???

masterbait was a master'stroke' (psst psstt "stroke") ??!!??

rantravereflect said...

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh tat 'stroke' ehhh???\buahhahahahah- it had been lost on me :(:(:(
no longer :):)\

heeeeee is ta why sachin is called a master 'blaster'??? ;)

n is tat why ya\re a master-'mind\-ya masturbate with ya mind ryteeee- all those awesome jru trilogies?? :):):)

so ya\d prefer the stroke or the mind crimson???

g-man said...

lol, muskajeers. good one...especially the horn. that one had me in splits!

Chriz said...

where did they find you? haha.. completely nutty.. fell in lowe with this post.. completely.. me starting a series ...

crasiezt said...

ROFLMAO!!!
I just can't get over the story!! You "screwed" them all so royally babe!

I take my words back..your prose is as good as your doodling:-)
Now I want more stories!!!!

Pranay said...

:0!!!!!
How did u ever come up with this???!!!!!

Ken said...

your creativity freaks me out! phew! and the rub-a-dub for the fantasies - he he he! Very original and the fun is fuckaliciously high (i stole your convention) ;)

Macadamia The Nut said...

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Little blogger walls have big ears
;)

vishvsambyal said...

LOL,...MASTER-BAIT HORN..THE MOST UNIQUE IDEA EVER!!

Cinderella. said...

Rofl @ The horn !!!


And the sketch !!!
Hahahahaha......

I am loving your muskejeer series girl !

SLOGGER said...

I have to admit, your style of writing is different. Are you preparing yourself for a career with romance novel or something??

Keshi said...

haha mebbe..and I dunno why LOL!

Keshi.

vishvsambyal said...

hron still blows....thee cheers for the masturbate horn...pooom pooom

Vandita said...

Mann aka Bubbles' new post
she asked me to drop the link to everyone on her blogroll

Nirmal said...

hahaah..tat was great rantra..lol..

god story...heheh
the horns part was great....lol

maverick said...

@rantra..u ll find the corelation..when u see the movie :D

Keshi said...

there..I answered ur qn in my BOY post ;-)

Keshi.

AnGeliC dEmOn- said...

Hang it on.!
i had posted a comment here yesterday

Where did it go ? :'(

The Smokin' WDM2 said...

rofl... what an imagination! kudos... and that master bait.. lol.. awesome!

Wondering.. if Bill Gates had ever been named Gill Bates, could he have been called Master Bates at school? ;)

Divkiran said...

eeheeheehahahahaha
Hillarious - ROFL
Imaginative - you blew me over girl
Ouch - masterbait...ahaan
Pervert Pervert Pervert
And men as usual----awww poor guys!!! LOL

Bravo woman Bravo - clap clap clap

vishvsambyal said...

wel thing about them bunk beds is that only the top man can feel the bed shaking... and when the top man does his thang...the person below does not feel a thing... so there are no GAY INCIDENTS cause of mutual jerking time clashes

vishvsambyal said...

wel thing about them bunk beds is that only the top man can feel the bed shaking... and when the top man does his thang...the person below does not feel a thing... so there are no GAY INCIDENTS cause of mutual jerking time clashes

The Smokin' WDM2 said...

thanks for visiting my blog :) Drop by often!

PS: Like, now. Updated :D

Alok said...

Hahhahahh!

*applauds*

That was awesome.

Poor MuskeJeers, They've now become MuskeTears.

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