Monday, April 28, 2008

Captain Jane COOK: 20 DAYS 8 MINS.

Pass on some pasta please:

8 mins. That’s all I needed to move from a woman-who-can’t-cook to a woman-who-can-cook. Sunfeast Pasta was an amazing discovery to me, when you have none of the cooking-woman’s traits, and your delirious mom left you for TWENTY days, in order to be with her romantic, solitary, loving, loveable and most importantly starved (for food and otherwise;)) husband in the Gulf, and left you scratching your head with a brother (B), more potently referred to as a hunger-monger.

B usually grits his teeth and gives the most obscene madman a run for his money, when even mom gives him anything remotely burnt, botched, bland or boggy.

If mom cannot be pardoned for her slightest culinary slips, I was going to be dead meat.
Dead meat reminded me of something- B was a carnivore. Chicken and chicks were the two most important things in his life.
B’s favorite saying: ‘If you can’t find me a sexy chick, I’ll turn gay.’

If I didn’t give him chicken, I’m sure he’d say, ‘If you can’t give me scrumptious chicken, I’ll turn into a cannibal, and eat you up.’

So I have

a)8 mins,
b)Sunfeast Pasta and Pasta Maker- Pizza style,
c)FEAR of being eaten up.

I was scared of B.

I would do anything to please B.
I just needed his nod of approval.

Without chicken at my disposal, I wanted to chicken out of cooking for him.

What else could I do?
Arey O
Arey, I don’t know how to make Sambar! (A south-Indian vegetable gravy)
Arey, I can teach him Samba, we could dance like ballroom experts, that would satisfy him- but he would only get hungrier then!!!!
Arey, I’ve heard of a
Sushi-Samba in Chicago which serves a mix of Japanese, Brazilian and Peruvian cuisines, but you see, I had the money to fly him half way around the world (muhahahaha), but did I have the money to treat him free food at an expensive restaurant?- nahhh ;);)

B: I’m darn hungry. My stomach is groaning
(I came crashing down from my kitchidi of thoughts. I just needed to cook it up my scared soul and serve it down his craving food pipe )
I: Just give me 8 mins sweetheart.

Preparing the pasta:

1.I pulled out the ‘Chicken Manchurian’ savage left from our ravage binge last night. It was in good condition.
2.I shredded the three pieces of Chicken from the Chicken Manchurian.
3.I beat up two eggs, and scrambled them on a hot tawa, with lenient licks of Cheese Spread lacing the hot scrambled pieces.
4.I boiled the Pasta for around 5 mins, before emptying the Sauce maker- Pizza Ishtyle into the pan.
5.When everything boiled into a gooey broth, I flicked in the scrambled eggs, stirred the contents and covered the Pasta Pan with a lid.
6.Three minutes later, I poured out the hot and Pizza-flavored mixture onto a big silver plate.
7.I knew presentation mattered a great deal. I shaped the entire content into a star, lined the outer edges with fried capsicum, and added a dash of tomato sauce.



Winds of Change said...

im the first to comment!!!!!!!!!!!! n im sooooooooooooooo gladddddd!!!!!!! mannnn! the pasta luke yummmyyyyyyy....n talkin bout hunger...i get real mad wen im hungry...
nice one...


rantravereflect said...

heeeee.. yaaaay
roooby doobey :)
thank ya.. the next tyme ya're home, i'll cook ya sum veg pasta!!!

PREETI said...

i really am hungry all thge time...i actually thought i ws less hungry today but turns out its not so :( waaahhh!! i want ym pastaaaa!!! :(

The Techno Maniac said...


can u make the same kind of pasta (veg) and get it along when i come next time? may be me and R can enjoy it. I hope I dont have to renew my LIC though??

It looks good.. but i just simply.. you know what...

I am glad tht u have learnt how bad it can be for you wen ur mum is not around.. so wat are ya gona do wen u get married my dear??

I dont think, you can squirm off with pasta every day ;) so better get down and start learning the fine art of cookery.. for ur benefit and for the benefit of ur poor future husband..


The Techno Maniac said...

PS - I am ready with cookery.. even if i get a monster for a wife.. I think i d be able to manage with my practise for the art of house keeping which i have been maintaining for a year.. and the way things are heading.. it looks like its going to be another year of suffering here.. befroe i scrape to freedom.. and yeah.. i got a new room mate!!!

Well.. so.. thats all from my end for now..


The Techno Maniac said...

and yeah jane.. please make sure that I dont end up with a monster for a wife,ok? you better help me choose a nice girl for a wife... a girl who d be a part of us.. and be out with us and lead the same kind of social life we are having.. i hate to loose it di.. i really.. so be there when things get ready.. alternatively.. on second thopughts i just realised i cant tell u the alternate thru blogs.. may be i d mail or call.. wat say??

rantravereflect said...

yehh peeto :)
i had a yumm north indian thali..
eatyn is our thing!!

ya commented!!!
ya know how happy tat maketh me!! :D:D

we will make sure we pull out ya wife into heapz n heapz of fun!!!!
we shall party HARD, n also love eachh other harder babeeee- n yeh wyd mom not around, i needed to cook, n yehhh i got to cook healthier stuff as well- dun wury, i shall get betta :)

zooozeezazoooo.. take care ma homiez!!!


rantravereflect said...

n teddy, yehhh i'll cook sum 4 ya the next time :) sure..


soooooooooooooooooo ccccccccccccccuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.start cooking "ssssssssssaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmbbbbbbbbbbbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrr" very soon

rantravereflect said...

:p :p
fuk ya baby!
i'll turn iyer aathu to non-veg aathu- not to worry..
i'll make chicken sambar!!!

Gayatri said...

lol.. we never got to hear what B thought of it :)

rantravereflect said...

B was only buzzzzy eatin it :)
infact he lurveeeeeeed it ;)

but i guess tatz sumthin he gotta say gay :)


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