Every Zakir needs his True Light!

Superstars Karan and Soha play Sandeep (San) and Nandita (Nan) in a film titled ‘I’m the Boss’, where they are so sick of their manipulative Boss that they actually hatch a big plan to screw his lovely life, sexy wife and beautiful daughter.
The Dialogues are all in Hindi. I’ve transliterated them into English.

***********************************************************
Background: Walking into the Office canteen- Host of food stalls, colleagues in the background)
Scene 10:
Take 2:
Lights. Camera. Action.

Nan: I hate this San- we do all the dirty work, and our F*@*!t^% boss walks away with ALL the credit.’
San: Spot on Nan! It’s like we’re washing all his dirty Van Heusen linen and he walks out as Mr. Spotless White. Fucker- People should actually see how dirty his Jockey ass is: sockeye of SHIT
Cut.

Background : Table Near the sandwich/Chat stall.
Scene 11:
Lights. Camera. Action.
Take 3:

Nan: The other day, he called me to the Conference Hall when the Big Boss was also there, and I thought they were going to appreciate my work on my Market Survey Report.
Surprisingly, they never referred to the Report and asked me about all the Exquisite Designer Bag Outlets in Town. On my favorite topic, even I loosened up, and bragged about this new, Bottega Bag Outlet that was a Designer steal. In my mind, I was like, ‘Wow (whistle), even these arseholes know how to get a female employee talking and motivated.’

San: Yeah, up until last week- that (pause) was (pause) motivation. Then, it motivated you to kill him, when we found out about their bonuses from our collective Market Survey Reports and their special ‘bag shopping’ for stuffing their wives’ love handles with bootiliceous Bottega Bags.

If that wasn’t bad enough, none of us got our special bonuses for those individual Survey Reports that they had promised early last month. When questioned, moronic ‘Boss’ says, ‘Your bonuses- next month Guys’.

Nan: Next month guys!? Next month guys = (equals to) Next month guys, your asses are going to be screwed harder during OVERTIME HOURS at OFFICE with MORE REPORTS and NO BONUSES / NO PAY while I’m screwing my ugly wife’s arse at home DURING OFFICE HOURS and screwing some hot chick’s arse at the Park during MY OVERTIME HOURS.

San & Nan: URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (with looks of exasperation)

Cut.

Scene 12:
Take 1:
Nan: We have to screw his life- make it a complete mess.
San: We got to screw his wife and daughter as well.
Nan: God will show us the light.
San: And I will discover his wife and daughter in darkness.
Nan & San: Muhahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahaha!

Cut.
************************************************************
Kachangggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg.
A loud noise fills the sets.
Zakir, the Lightman threw the lights he had been holding onto the floor.
The Director, the Actors and everyone on the sets stared open-mouthed.

Zakir speaks animatedly,
“Lights. Camera. Action.
God, show Zakir, the lightmen the light. We are the ones who’ve been in darkness all along.
What ironic lines in your scenes!
You super stars get paid in crores for a film, sometimes even before the first shoot, and you’re doing a scene about NOT GETTING PAID, and not getting paid ON TIME? We film workers- illustrators, scenic designers, model makers, lightmen, carpenters, painters, electricians, laborers, set decorators, makeup and hairstyling artists, costume designers, etc. get 600 Rs. /day(on an average), and we’re NOT PAID IN MONTHS!
You had a scene that talks of motivation and Overtime working hours. It was a brilliant scene- especially because you stole all the lines from our lives.
As film workers, we love our cinema and we work non-stop; days and nights make no difference to us. You talk of Designer Bottega Bags? We only have swollen EYE BAGS and designer dark circles, thanks to our sleepless and thankless days and nights.
As for all the ‘screwing’ in the scenes, it’s time WE SCREW YOU!
Meet with our BASIC DEMANDS- parameters like improved working hours, payment tariffs and time limit for payment. Until then, we shall stay away from what we love.
It is peanuts for a 3.6 Billion/year Ticket sales Industry.
Give us filmworkers some credit! Every Zakir in this industry needs to be shown HIS TRUE LIGHT
CUT.”

This piece was inspired by the recent three day long Bollywood Film Workers' strike- the first of its kind in 50 years.
Quoting UNI GLOBAL UNION, “FWICE, the Federation of Western India Cinema Employees went on strike on October 1’st, 2008 The Federation, a UNI affiliate, representing over twenty film employees unions in Mumbai (Bombay) shut down all productions in Bollywood. The action was taken after many members have not been paid for months, in some cases wages had been withheld for up to six months, leaving workers on the verge of starvation. The Federation also includes the Senior Artists Association, which supports the strike. More than 100 films had stopped production. All the studios were shut for three whole days.”