Mom: So when are you leaving on your official weekend getaway?
Me: Thursday night- 11 o clock train.
Mom: I talked to Geeta Aunty. She says that Bikini place is beautiful.
Me: Firstly, it is Kabini Ma, and secondly, I know you very well. I’m sure you wanted to verify if the place really existed, and whether it really was a weekend getaway and most importantly, if you could find some reason, threatening enough to stop me from going.
Mom: Chi Chi.. I trust you makale, was just generally asking. She said you could do a lot of things there- trekking, zip riding, rappelling, coracle riding and stuff..
Me: Wowww!! I thought I already told you that! (Grrrrrrrr)You love cross checking, don’t you! (Sarcastic)
Mom: Cross checking- no way makale. But you’ll be crossing the Kaveri. So, be very safe.
Me: (OMG!! Here she goes... grrrrrrrr)
Mom: The waters will be deep. There could be crocodiles. Wear a life-jacket and pray the crocz don’t find you tasty. (Me thinking- Crocodiles???? My mom would’ve given Deepa Mehta all these bold, out of the box ideas on her movie ‘Water’. Maybe, she should have suggested me in place of Lisa Ray- my out of the box thoughts. Like mother, like daughter!)
You have an open leg wound- do have it protected and carry antiseptic. (Me thinking- They have these absolutely cool, brown sprain bandages -I could wind one over my wound, below my Capris that would add a sporty, sassy look to the ensemble. This is what they call, orrre kallula rendu manga. Translates to one stone- two mangoes. Somehow, in English, it makes no sense. )
Geeta Aunty told me that there would be many mosquitoes there-carry a tube of Odomos. No, carry two- you have a large surface area. (Me grimacing!! Then again, Mom has a point.
The Odomos selling volumes are directly proportional to three things:
a) The no. of mosquitoes infesting the country,
b) The no. of stagnant water pools
c) The average size and total surface area of the human body (the larger the more required)
Its going to be chilly at night- carry a few pullovers. (It feels pretty amazing- I already feel like effervescent Kajol with her giggling girlfriends, swathed in fluffy pullovers, right out of their tents, on icy terrain in that song from Sapney. Amazing cinematography! )
Me:Talking about pullovers, take a break from your incessant anxieties- pullover to this imminent thought on my mind.
The thought being- the right trekking and travel gear! Anyways, the Company is funding the trip. So you could spare me some money.
Mom: How much would that be?
Me: 6000 bucks for 3 days.
Mom: Great! Go ahead and get your gear.
Thursday: Shopping starts at 5 pm, train’s at 11.30 pm.….
At 9.00, as I enter home, these are things I proudly display; my train being at 11.30.
A pair of Capris (Shoppers Stop, 34 is no longer is my enemy. 36 is now my yesteryear nightmareJJJCapris sound like extension of capes- the Mask of Zorro kinds; ironic that they should be shortened pants. Humph!): Rs.650
A pair of knee length Shorts (MTV Cool Club. Ah, I need to wax! Would anyone notice unwaxed legs when what would be more prominent would be my bulging love handles? ): Rs.375
A pair of military Capris (MTV Cool Club. I like to camouflage on a forest trek. As it is, I look like a forest elephant. Do I really need to camouflage? That’s food for thought.) : RS. 350
A black and gold sleeveless top (Shopper's Stop. Slurpppppppp….. We have campfires after the trek, you know and a girl needs to be a lil’ dressed after all ;)): Rs. 550
A pair of Adidas shoes (Adidas Store, Nungambakkam. Red and black, with an absolutely cool undersurface, sort of spiked and sexy- they’re supposedly for men, and I bought them. Sounds impossible? Hee- they're Adidas- Impossible is nothing): Rs.2400
An Adidas Backpack (Adidas Store, Nungambakkam. Red and black again, Tats so raven! A girl’s got to match her stuff, you see. There was a bigger, grey backpack for a few extra bucks, but grey doesn’t paint the town RED (n black, oopsie) ): Rs.1250
Spare money for the trip (Acc 2 mom, for emergency only- I know that my 3 day trip would definitely have another fit of shopping emergency. Forget it Mom- write it off. ;)): Rs 1000
650+375+350+550+2400+1250+1500= RS. 6575
Mom: 6000 bucks all for free, and you got to go ahead and do the balancing act by spending it on a shopping spree.
Me: Free.. Spree.. What’s with the rhyming? Mom, you time and again got to go ahead and do the Kindergarten teacher’s act!
I finally managed to pack and leave the house at 9.30. Packing my new stuff with Mom was total fun. We kept laughing over the top-she stuffed in the additional antiseptic, the Odomos, the pullovers and the sprain band aid. All Moms are the same. Phew!
I then knew that some things come at Rs.6000, some at Rs.6575.
But, Some things are priceless- Mommy's love!
(As for Mommy’s bikini jokes, they’re are infinitely priceless)
Kabini, here I come!